Any trip to the dentist has always filled me with complete dread and fear. Even today for a simple visit to my Hygienist, Justine for a complete scrub. I just couldn´t bring myself for love nor money to a dentist in The Ganj (or pretty much the whole of India to be honest - however cheap)
Justine is a very attractive 30 something, who looks the archetypal hygienist, a little too clinical and sterile for my tastes.
She is usually very soft and gentle with me.
But not today!
She is clearly pissed at me for failing to floss properly and daily as previously instructed. Indeed, i have continued to drink large quantities of thick black sweet coffees, and whilst my cigarette intake has been reduced, i still regularly and merrily puff away. She scrubs me with brutish force unusual for someone who looks angelic.
She scowls and warns me that if i continue with my evil ways my teeth will soon begin to drop out.
Feeling like a naughty school-boy, i humbly apologise for the errors of my ways. I do floss, but irregularly. In an effort to win Brownie points i tell her about my twice daily gargling, but Justine remains completely non-plussed. She tells me mouth-washes are completely useless and i am wasting my money on them – something that i hate to do!
She tells me it is a cultural thing. In North America they floss twice daily and have much strong idea about oral hygiene. I take this to be likely truism, and indeed this is verified by GA. Britain has certainly never been at the forefront of dentistry - that´s why we all have crooked and blemished gnashers.
Justine manages to sell me a variety of tiny wire brushes and demands to see me again before i head off on my travels, clearly expecting me to make noticeable improvements to my life-style.
Her clean-up session this morning hurt so much, and coupled with the threat of teeth-loss, fills me with enough fear and remorse to mend the errors of my ways – at least for the next 24 hours.
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