Advice on Courtship and Marriage – Emily Jessop

J, one of my quintessentially eccentric and literary friends in UK sent me a flier for this book. It claims to be a reprint of a Victorian self-help book. It looks brilliant and i´ll certainly try to track down a copy whilst in England. It gives a somewhat bizarre insight into life in those times, or at least an insight into Ms Jessop´s mind.

I´m sure you´ll agree, there is sound advice for all ladies and gentlemen – quality stuff

GOOD BEHAVIOUR: A young lady should not permit her gentlemen friends to address her by her name. A gentleman should never use the term "Dear" or "My Dear" under any circumstances unless he knows it is perfectly acceptable or a long and friendly acquaintance justifies it.

RECEIVING CALLS: A young lady who is not engaged may receive calls from unmarried gentlemen as she desires, and may accept an invitation to concerts, to theatres etc.
A lady never calls on a gentleman, unless it is a professional or official matter. It is positively improper to do so.

RECEIVING THE ATTENTIONS OF GENTLEMEN: No well-bred lady will too eagerly receive the attentions of a gentleman, no matter how much she admires him.
However, she should not be so reserved as to altogether discourage him.
A lady never demands attentions and favours from a gentleman, but always accepts them gratefully, graciously and with thanks.

Unmarried ladies should not accept presents from gentlemen to whom they are neither related nor engaged.

APPROPRIATE ATTIRE: Avoid the slouchy appearance of a half-unbuttoned vest and suspender-less pantaloons. That sort of dress is disgusting.

ESCORTING A LADY HOME: When a gentleman escorts a lady home from a ball, she should not invite him to enter the house, and even if she does so, he should decline the invitation.

BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE: Marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches from the skin, invigorates the body- and gives elasticity and firmness to the step.
Statistics show married men live longer than bachelors. Child-bearing for women is linked to longevity.

THE HONEYMOON: A husband should remember that his bride cannot stand the same amount of tramping around and sightseeing that he can.

The female organs are so easily affected by excessive exercise of the limbs which support them and, as this is a critical period, it would be foolish and costly to drag a lady hurriedly around the country.

In many cases it lays the foundation for the wife's first and lifelong "backache".

A PERFECT MATCH: The best wife is the woman who has found the right husband, a husband who understands her.

A man will have the best wife when he rates that wife as queen among women.

This sort of man will not only praise the dishes made by his wife, but will actually eat them.

TRUE FACT: Up until 1782 men in Britain had the legal right to beat his wife as long as the stick was "no thicker than his thumb."