The Boy, Not Boy

My poor parents were burdened by having four sons, each as different as different peas in the most unusual of pods. Apart from a similar distinctive laugh we are all as chalky cheesy as you could ever possibly imagine.

I am the third son, preceded by Doctor Gloves and followed by Boy. Our oldest brother is known as The Boy; yeah – it is a bit complicated, but it isn´t rocket science.

We have all got our own distinctive personal traits including our psychological problems, but ask anyone who knows our family and The Boy is the most fucked-up. Even he will admit to this.

I confess to having my own issues which include ADHD and OCD, but however screwed I am, The Boy takes these same issues and magnifies them manifold. He has the social skills of a feral child brought up by maggots.

However, The Boy is an exceptionally intelligent guy and although he took more than 10 years to qualify as an MD, he has found an interesting niche as an academic in the Department of Nuclear Medicine at the world-famous University College Hospital in London.

He basically plays with equipment costing millions of dollars pumping radioactive chemicals into patients to check vital organs; predominantly the heart and lungs through PET and CT scans.

The high tech equipment designed in Israel is impressive and some of them are unique in Europe. Thus, The Boy jets across the United States and Europe to deliver keynote speeches in the latest technological capabilities and advances in the field.

Today he gives me a guided tour of the department´s facilities – something that both Tony Blair and Gordon Brown have also explored in their time as Prime-ministers.

Despite having the sociability of a pit-bull terrier, The Boy is clearly valued and respected by his co-workers, almost all of which are archetypal geeks. But they are nice and are curious to meet an adventurer (for this is what my brother has clearly described me to them) as well as showing genuine interest in my studies.

I ask The Boy about the state of the National Health Service. Despite the best efforts of the Tony Blair Labour government, The Boy reckons that it is so politicized, the bureaucracy is cumbersome and funds are squandered on unnecessary administrators. This seems to be true in all government departments including public education in Britain.

His salary sounds quite good to me, but he doubles it by working as a private consultant two afternoons a week. He seems resentful that if he was in the same role in the US or Australia his salary would increase fourfold and is seriously considering leaving UK for good.

University College Hospital London