Monday, August 24, 2009

Jackie, Badgers and Tennis


Jackie is an old flat-mate from my undergraduate days in Bristol. She is a local Bristolian who spent much mirth on ripping into students. Now in possession of an MA and settled in the sea-side residency of Hasting made famous by the battle of in 1066 and more recently for having one of the highest junkie rating in England.

It is still a beautiful town and I try and visit every couple of years – J. is much better at coming up to London. On this occasion I am invited to inspect her new electric fence with 30,000 volts pulsing through. Originally erected to deter the neighbours three cats, it also provides service to foxes and badgers. I´m promised endless amusing photographic opportunities of badgers getting zapped. Surely an opportunity to good to turn down?

Unfortunately my camera battery is dead from the dog agility session from the night before, so we crack open Dave´s old Canon A1 and takes me ages for us to remember how to operate a manual SLR. We quaff wine in the garden and talk in whispered voices waiting for action. It´s almost pitch black when J detects the tell-tale snuffles of badgers next door, but there is no action to see.

Undeterred by the lack of sizzling badger shots, J wants to get me on the tennis court. Now I haven´t stepped on one of these things for 10 years, but J is new to the sport (to add further fitness levels to her passion of marathon running) and wants me to provide her with a lesson or three. Ouch!

Fortunately, like riding a bicycle, it appears you never forget. Although my first serves are pretty ropey, we go through a few serve and volley scenarios and we spend a really pleasant couple of hours in the park.

Rumours quickly spread, and I am invited to further hone my skills with Boy, Pa, Pa´s “ladyfriends”, and my two nephews. Boy can play a bit and wipes me six love in the first, but I soon find my feet and win through 6 – 3, 7 – 5.

Pa who used to be a bit tasty in his day refuses to run and gets trounced. Pa plays with four ladies every Wednesday and invites me in to one of his weekly sessions with clear instructions not to wallop. It takes all my patience, especially with one of them who irritates everybody.

Tennis is good! Thanks Jackie – you got me hooked again.

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