Showing posts with label Angelina Jolie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Angelina Jolie. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

An Open Letter to Angelina Jolie

Dear Angelina,

As fate seems to dictate, we both find ourselves single at last.

My credentials as a life partner are immense. Kind, loving and thoughtful, i boast pastry fingers and a student of all things Tantric. Quiche, soups and curries are house specialities and will ensure all your culinary needs are met.

As a minimalist, i promise not to take up too much space in your myriad properties scattered across the World.

My mum tells me i look every bit as good-looking as Brad Pitt, and she is always honest and trust-worthy.

Like yourself, i have a deep interest in both Africa and Asia, as well a shared love of both children and the United Nations, after all i am a genuine global citizen.

My needs are minimal, and if you do grow bored of me (unlikely though this is), i am prepared to sign and settle a prenuptial agreement for just 10% of your wealth.

Opportunities for us both have been quite limited, and i feel now is the right time to seize it. Surely it is about time we got it on?

Yours expectantly,

Aubs xx